WITTICISMS

You should not pray for rain if you complain about the mud.

Friends are the chocolate chips in the cookie of life.

Old age is always 10 years older than you are.

I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

Too many people are ready to carry the stool when the piano needs to be moved.

Pain is inevitable; misery is optional.

You can knock the chip off of his shoulder by patting him on the back.

Never miss a chance to make people happy, even if you have to leave them alone to do it.

I have no trouble meeting expenses; every time I turn around they’re there.

Dieting is something we do religiously. We eat what we want and pray we don’t gain weight.